I’m Glad My Bra Isn’t Like My Friends

I can count on my bra for support. When it comes to my books and my business, my friends (and the majority of my family) are elastic that’s been through the wash too many times. No support. None. And it’s not just me. This seems to be endemic among authors, artists, musicians, small business owners, and anyone who isn’t a celebrity. That sucks.

Juli Page Morgan

I haven’t felt well today, or I’d probably not write this post. But I think it’s something that needs to be said, and since I’m in a place to do it right now I will. Will my friends see it? Who knows? I don’t think more than four of them bother to read my blog. But at least other creatives will know they’re not alone in that field where nothing chirps but crickets, those whose newsfeeds show more support for Kim Kardashian than for them.

I don’t have one of those Facebook friends lists that’s overflowing with names, one that reaches the maximum number of friends allowed. No, it’s mainly people I actually know, and members of my family. In other words, people I tend to look to for support. It’s a good thing I’m not dependent on that support, though, because I can count on one hand the number of these people who will support my work as an author. And only one of them is a member of my family. That hurts. No, I mean, that freakin’ hurts. I can’t begin to even describe the way I feel when my posts/tweets/instagrams about my books or newsletter or blog aren’t shared by anyone other than those four or five faithful friends. But you can be sure my newsfeed will explode with shared posts about Adele’s new album, or Kylie Jenner’s new lip kit, or which team won the World Series, or that everyone cried while watching This Is Us.

Juli Page Morgan

I can’t count the number of times over the years that I’ve liked Facebook Pages created by friends for Jamberry, Pampered Chef, Younique, Monat, those icky pearls from the oysters, etc., or Pages for their businesses like boutiques, photography, radio stations, candles & soaps, and other things they’ve started. I’ve attended parties, shared posts, been a cheerleader, bought products, written reviews, and genuinely done what I could to help them succeed. But when it comes to them sharing my posts, buying my books (or recommending them to their romance fan friends), or even passing out my business cards? Nada. Nothing. Crickets. It’s like my business and I are covered in toxic slime, like they’re embarrassed by the fact that I write books. And that makes me feel like

Juli Page Morgan

Not only do they not share with their other friends, they don’t bother to even click “like” on my Facebook Page and follow it, or follow me on Instagram or Pinterest or Twitter, or subscribe to my newsletter. Since Facebook severely restricts the reach of posts made by Pages, I’ll usually share those posts on my profile as well. If ten of my friends like those posts I call it a banner day. Shoot, I already know they’re not gonna share it. Again, that sucks. And it really, really hurts. Like bad hurts.

I don’t expect all my friends to read my books. I don’t expect all my friends to like my books. Romance isn’t everyone’s jam, and I get that. But to not support me, their friend the author, is…well, it’s low, you know? I mean, you couldn’t hold me down and make me read “literary fiction,” but if I had a friend that writes it? I would support that friend! There are times like now that I want to confront all of them face to face and ask “Why?” I want to know if it would literally kill them to click share and add, “I know some of you love romance novels. You really should read this one!” I’d like to know why they can’t accept one newsletter email per month from me.

Juli Page Morgan

It especially hurts when they’re busy sharing posts from local grocery stores and chain restaurants, or scam posts that say a bunch of RVs or trips to Disney are up for grabs but are really just posts that download malware onto the devices of anyone who clicks on them. When it pops up  that such-and-such friend “likes” Charmin (yes, the toilet paper), or Toyota, or Baskin-Robbins, or Target, or…well, you get the picture, but they won’t like my author page? It’s like a slap in my face. It’s even worse when it pops up in my feed that they like Amazon, or Barnes and Noble, or iBooks. Or John Grisham, or Stephen King, or Danielle Steele. But they won’t like my author page!

That hurts.

But you know what? You who are reading this make it so much better. You, my readers. All y’all who follow my social media accounts, and click like, or leave comments, or share the posts. All y’all who subscribe to my newsletter and read my books. You make it good.

Juli Page Morgan

So to all the creatives out there, the authors and jewelry makers and painters and indie musicians: You aren’t alone. If your friends and family are the supportive kind, go and thank them right now, because you’re part of the lucky few. If you’re in the same boat as  I am, then let’s row on together and support each other with everything we have in us.

And once again, to those who support me

Juli Page Morgan

Oh, and thanks for letting me rant a bit today. ☺

This entry was posted in My Surreal Life and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to I’m Glad My Bra Isn’t Like My Friends

  1. Debi Matlack says:

    I feel your pain. I still have relatives that are on Facebook that don’t even know I write, let alone publish my books, the ones I eventually finish, anyway.

    At Christmas, one of my aunts, when she saw the book another aunt gave me, full of writing prompts, looked at me and asked, “Was that a joke gift?”

    “No, it isn’t, I love writing.”

    I try to do all I can to support my friends in their endeavors. Maybe not so much when they’re into some MLM thing, but all my creative and artistic friends get their posts shared and promoted when I see them. I may miss some here and there, but for the most part, I share the shit out of their latest creations.

    It does suck when people who know you don’t bother with so much as a single click to ‘like’ something you’ve done. And quite frankly, my ‘friends’ list gets a little lighter from time to time. The older I get, the more I realize that I really only want to interact with the people who actually care about me and can be bothered to remind me that they and I exist.

    • It’s so puzzling to me why our friends and family refuse to support us in these small ways that are free and take about, oh, two seconds to do. True to my prediction, I don’t think anyone on my friend list read this blog except for the few I knew would. I truly think I’m to the point of asking people why they don’t support my endeavors as an author. If it makes them uncomfortable or defensive, then so be it. I admit that I have effing had it. I think they deserve all the uncomfortable we can give them. (Can you tell I’ve totally been pushed past my Fuck It point? 😉 )
      julipagemorgan recently posted…I’m Glad My Bra Isn’t Like My FriendsMy Profile

  2. I absolutely agree… and it’s a shame. I’m sure Facebook is partly to blame since they limit posts to a greater extent than I ever imagined. I always post on my page then immediately share on my profile, thinking it will grow the audience for the post. The problem is that Facebook doesn’t show my share to my friends, either from my page or my profile. It’s a travesty and I’m beginning to loathe Facebook. I would love for someone to come up with a viable alternative. I’ve tried migrating to both Ello and MeWe, but others too comfortable in their surroundings to move to something new… that isn’t mining you for revenue and whatever else they deem necessary. I loved MySpace… I wish we could just go back to that. Regardless, I don’t know anyone offhand that reads romance novels, but I always recommend you whenever someone asks. I’m planning to buy all of them when I have the money. Hopefully, if I’m able to sell my CD that will happen, but my friends and family have displayed the same amount of interest as your apparently have, so I’m not counting on it. Best of luck, nevertheless.

  3. Sorry about the typos. I think faster than I type.

  4. Christina Giguere says:

    This one hits home with a lot of us. I have a handful of friends I can count on to support my work but I’ve accepted that the rest never will. People are unreliable, and there’s nothing I can do about that. Also, the majority of my friends and family are not readers. Now if I were starring in a television sitcom, then MAYBE they’ll support that but I’m just a writer and they obviously don’t think it’s a big deal. You know Ernest Hemingway once said, “You must learn to work without applause,” and he’s so right. We have to develop our talents in obscurity if we’re ever going to make it.

    I get what you’re saying, even if they can’t afford to buy a book, they can at least offer encouragement or a simple like on a Facebook post but for some people even that is too much. I actually consider this a blessing because it lets me know where I truly stand with that person. I refuse to get angry over it, but I do learn from that kind of rejection. And it is rejection by the way which is why it burns so much. 🙁

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge